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daishimelTitle: And You'll Be Mine
Chapters: 6/7
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
melinen aka daishimel
Genre: romance, fluff and so on
Disclaimer: Not mine, and never will be
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: DiexShinya, slight KaoruxToshiya (a little GacktxShinya)
Synopsis: Shinya’s mind was in chaos. He didn’t know just what to do as he felt Gackt’s lips move closer to his own, because to be honest he quite wondered how it would be to have the other man kiss him. Would he be gentle or would the kiss be rough? The drummer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he should let Gackt kiss him. At least he would know if he could feel anything towards the man after the kiss, right?
Comments: It took me way too long, but the next chapter is finally ready. ^-^ I had a writer's block but it seems that it's finally leaving me alone, so I'm hoping to be able to finish this soon. The next chapter will be the last real chapter but you'll get chapter 6.5 as well, and possibly an epilogue if you want one.
Slowly Shinya made his way to the door Toshiya was holding open for him. It closed after him with a soft thud, making Shinya turn around abruptly only to stare at it for a fleeting moment before turning back to the bassist who hadn’t noticed anything odd in Shinya’s behaviour but stopped nonetheless, waiting the drummer to get closer to him. They exchanged glances though, and when Shinya did keep the eye contact Toshiya smiled at him, a bit knowingly maybe but it was a rather happy smile nonetheless, one that made the drummer answer to it with a small smile of his own. The bassist seemed content about it, holding out his hand to link it with Shinya’s and they continued making their way back to the hall.
Shinya wasn’t actually sure of what had happened during that little scene in front of the door. Had he unintentionally done something that had revealed to the other man something about him that he did not know himself? Or maybe it was just the way the bassist was, always the one out of the five of them none of the others quite understood, the kind of person who might seem to be the easiest one to get but in reality the one who wasn’t just what his image suggested him to be. Shinya knew that the others didn’t always quite understand him either, but compared to Toshiya he thought of himself to be simpler person than his friend.
Absent-mindedly Shinya followed Toshiya’s lead, listening to the other as he kept on chattering about the party, the music, Kaoru, Gackt, Die… practically about everything, the drummer thought in amusement. He soon let his mind wander, wondering if the others were already waiting for them, or rather if Die and Gackt were waiting for him. Shinya knew that it was very likely. Poor Kaoru, the atmosphere in their table must be rather interesting, so to say. The drummer chuckled at the thought.
“Totchi?” Shinya suddenly opened his mouth, interrupting the bassist.
“Hai?”
“Was Yoshiki-san back already when you left?” the drummer wanted to know.
Toshiya shook his head. “He must’ve met someone on the way back I suppose.”
Shinya nodded. It sounded understandable enough; the older man was after all one of those who arranged the whole party so he’d need to socialize with the other guests as well. Still, he hoped that the older man would return to them soon. The more people the better, especially now with Die and Gackt. The idea of those two men made Shinya frown. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to return to them, but then again where would he go if he decided not to return to them? It wasn’t like he knew so many people around him.
“… in it?” Toshiya’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and Shinya blinked.
“Nani?”
“I asked why you are so interested in it.” The look the other was giving him was enough to make Shinya turn his head from him and refuse to meet his eyes.
“Why are you so interested in knowing that?” Shinya answered with a question of his own.
“Am I?” Toshiya grinned.
“Obviously you are.”
“And you’re clearly not wanting to answer to me,” the bassist nodded. “I see. Though I don’t really need an answer since I know it already.”
“Then why ask, if you do know it?” Shinya enquired, slightly amused. Toshiya had the ability to make that happen, almost as often as Die.
“Thought to be polite, since you’re always complaining about me not being well-mannered.” Toshiya shrugged, still grinning. “But obviously that’s not always necessary. Remember this the next time you’re going to give me a lecture about my behaviour, Shin-kun!”
“I’m pretty sure I can’t forget,” Shinya answered, turning back to face his friend. “Why did you stop, by the way?” he then asked curiously.
Toshiya ignored the question completely and instead brought his hands to Shinya’s shoulders, causing the drummer to blink. “You’re confused.” He stated it as a fact, and Shinya could only blink some more. What did Toshiya mean with it?
“I know that you are, I can see it in your eyes. The reason you were there,” the bassist gestured somewhere behind Shinya’s back with his other hand, “was because you don’t know what to do with the situation you’re in, am I right?” When Shinya still couldn’t find his voice to answer Toshiya sighed and stared deeply in the drummer’s eyes. “I knew I should have started this conversation back there in the ladies’ room,” he mumbled, mostly to himself Shinya was sure, and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I don’t blame you for being confused, if I was in your shoes I’d be too, though I’m sure that Kaoru would have something to say to that…” He laughed a little at Shinya’s expression. “And I don’t think that I’d be that thrilled about having Gackt-san drool over me, I mean he is handsome and a great singer and all, but he’s still older than us and I wouldn’t want to be too close to a man who has been the singer of Malice Mizer even though he does look less… well dark now with the blond hair, it really suits him, don’t you think?”
“Totchi-kun,” Shinya suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the bassist once again. “Your point is?” he asked, unable to decide whether he should laugh at his friend or not. He chose the latter option and quietly studied Toshiya’s face when the other seemed to think about his question.
“My point? My dearest Shinya, my point is that you,” Toshiya poked at Shinya’s nose lightly with his forefinger, “don’t know what you should do with Gackt-san, or with Die for that matter.” He smiled triumphally at the drummer who just stared at him in return.
“… Um,” was all that Shinya could utter. Toshiya was right, they both knew it, but what did he expect him to say?
“And now you’re wondering what is it that I want you to say, ne?” Toshiya laughed. “Sometimes I know you so well it almost scares me,” he giggled. “Though that happens quite rarely I must admit,” he then added and tilted his head to examine the drummer’s face more closely.
For a moment both of them were silent and just looked at each other. Then Toshiya cleared his throat.
“The way I see it you have two options: whether you choose either Die or Gackt-san, or then you don’t do anything and hope that the situation clears by itself. But you have to make a decision eventually, and I’m not really talking about Gackt-san here.”
“But what if I don’t want to make that decision?” Shinya asked quietly. He couldn’t believe it; there he was practically telling his friend his secret, the very secret he had always thought he hid well enough. But obviously a curious Toshiya didn’t have any trouble whatsoever finding about that secret, or maybe he had slipped something before, he didn’t know nor care at the moment. The point was that Toshiya knew it, not how he did it.
“You’ll have to do it whether you want it or not,” the bassist answered. “Or Die will do it for you. Would you really want that?”
Shinya blinked. Would he want it? It would mean that the decision would be made for him and by none other than the redheaded guitarist. But Toshiya was right, a decision needed to be made, no matter whom was the one doing it.
“Shin… You do have feelings for him, ne?” Toshiya’s voice invaded his thoughts, and Shinya startled.
“Anou…”
“Well he has feelings for you, you must have noticed that at least,” the other went on.
“It’s kind of hard not to notice after tonight,” Shinya smiled a little at the thought of Die and his frustrating yet entertaining behaviour from earlier. “But this all might be just a big joke for him,” he continued, his smile fading.
“Trust me, it’s not,” Toshiya assured.
“How do you know?” Shinya enquired, not convinced at all. “Besides, even if he had those feelings we’d still need to think about what’s good for the band, not just what’s good for us.”
“I have my sources. And what do you mean, what’s good for the band?” Toshiya eyed him curiously. “I’m together with our mighty leader-sama, how would your situation be different or not good for the band?” He blinked. “Or are you implying that mine and Kao’s relationship isn’t good for the band?”
Shinya gulped. “Anou… it’s not that, it’s just that… What would happen if the media found out that some of us were in a relationship with a man? Would it affect the band, would it make our fans dislike us or something? I don’t want that, Totchi, I don’t want to lose the band.”
“None of us wants that either,” the other assured. “And I’m sure that when we do tell them about that they’ll understand. It’s not like they find our fanservice that awful or anything, ne.”
“But that’s different and you know it.”
“Is it now? Frankly I don’t think so. But if it happens then let it happen. I’ll refuse to give up love just to please the masses,” the bassist declared, his voice firm and expression clearly telling Shinya that his friend really meant what he said. And maybe that would be the right way to react to the situation if they were to face it in the future.
“Anyhow you’re missing the point here, Shin,” Toshiya changed the subject back to what it had been before Shinya had started talking about the band. “The point is that you two clearly have some things to discuss. Maybe you can do that later in your shared room, ne.” He flashed a smile that made Shinya blush.
“Fine, what ever,” the drummer mumbled.
“So you’ll promise to do it? Great,” Toshiya exclaimed happily and gave Shinya a hug that prevented the drummer from making any kind of noise, which included voicing his refusal or approval – the drummer wasn’t sure which option he would have picked so he just let it go.
“Maybe we should finally go back to the others,” Shinya suggested when his friend had finally removed his arms from around his body, smiling at the bassist who was too smiling rather widely.
“You’re right, Shin-kun, let’s not let Gackt-san and Die-kun wait for you any longer,” he exclaimed and linked his hand back with the drummer’s as they once again made their way to the hall. Shinya had to chuckle at that even though the nervous feeling he had felt around the two men mentioned came back to him as the doors to the hall came in his sight.
“Nervous?” Toshiya asked, sensing his feelings.
“Hai, a bit,” Shinya admitted.
“You’ll do fine; just concentrate on Die and not on Gackt, ne?”
Shinya did not have time to answer to Toshiya when the doors before them suddenly opened and Gackt stepped in front of them.
“Ah, the person I was looking for,” the older man greeted them, his eyes glued to Shinya’s small form that was now trying its best to hide behind Toshiya. “You don’t mind if I steal him from you for a little moment, do you, Toshiya-san?” he continued, still staring at the drummer.
“Anou… If Shinya does not mind…” the bassist started uncertainly only to be interrupted by Gackt who had already offered his arm to Shinya, asking if he could have the pleasure of his company. Shinya blinked, exchanged a glance with his friend and accepted the arm he was offered as he did not know what else he could do.
“Well, remember to bring him back soon, Gackt-san, ne,” Toshiya reminded before shrugging and opening the doors to step into the hall.
Gackt led Shinya to the nearest corner that offered them a bit of privacy. Shinya followed him silently, wondering about what the older man had in mind this time and why he couldn’t say it to him in the table. The drummer hoped he would be able to handle the situation no matter what the other would be saying.
“You’re probably wondering what I’ve brought you here for,” Gackt said as they had reached the corner and were now standing opposite each other.
“Hai, I am,” Shinya admitted, looking straight at the other man’s eyes.
Gackt nodded. “It happens that I do have something to say to you and even though there was the option to say it to you in front of your friends I opted not to choose it. I’m sure you can see why, Shinya-san.”
Shinya knew that the older man was referring to Die. He frowned, nodding.
“So,” Gackt started and took Shinya’s hands on his own, an action that made the drummer’s heart jump to his throat. He swallowed and urged the older man to go on.
“I know that this is happening very fast, but I’m hoping that you’ll still hear me out,” he started and squeezed Shinya’s hands.
“I will,” the drummer said softly. He didn’t want to be rude and refuse to do so, and besides he was starting to get slightly curious. It wasn’t every day when a famous singer wanted to tell you something in private.
“Do you remember what I said to you when we were dancing?” Gackt asked.
Shinya nodded.
“Then you don’t mind if I say this to you I suppose.” Gackt smiled at him, and the drummer held his breath; the older man looked deep inside of his eyes, moved his head closer to Shinya’s and brought his lips to his ear.
“I’d love to kiss you,” he whispered, and Shinya gasped. He didn’t know how to react when he realized that Gackt’s hands weren’t anymore where they had been earlier but the other hand had found its place around his waist and the other was currently stroking the skin of his cheek.
“Anou… I… Die…” Shinya stammered, wide-eyed.
“Die-san isn’t here now is he,” Gackt practically purred and smiled against Shinya’s ear as he felt the younger man tremble in his arms.
Shinya’s mind was in chaos. He didn’t know just what to do as he felt Gackt’s lips move closer to his own, because to be honest he quite wondered how it would be to have the other man kiss him. Would he be gentle or would the kiss be rough? The drummer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he should let Gackt kiss him. At least he would know if he could feel anything towards the man after the kiss, right?
“Just one little kiss,” Gackt whispered and then his lips were on Shinya’s. The younger man tensed at the contact but slowly let himself relax again. He kept his eyes closed and let the other’s lips move against his own ones. He didn’t respond to the kiss but he didn’t resist either. He just stood there in Gackt’s arms and let his mind wander. It was a nice kiss, yes, but Shinya found that he didn’t actually feel anything more than the slight nervousness which was normal since the other was Gackt after all. He did think about Die, though, hoping that the guitarist would not make an appearance when he was being kissed by another man.
When the kiss ended and Gackt withdrew his lips from Shinya’s they just stared at each other, neither of them uttering a word. Gackt’s expression was thoughtful but it was Shinya who opened his mouth first.
“It’s not because of you, it’s because of me,” he tried his best to explain.
“I understand,” the older man assured. “But it was still worth a try, ne?” he smiled.
“I suppose it was,” Shinya smiled back.
“Your Die-san is right behind us.”
Gackt’s words caught Shinya by surprise, and his eyes widened. Had Die seen them kissing?
“Yes, he did see us,” the older man said, as if he was answering to Shinya’s unvoiced question. “And I think that you should go to him now,” he continued, gently turning Shinya around so that the drummer could indeed see Die standing within a small distance of them.
“I guess the best man won,” Gackt raised his voice. Die raised his brow at that, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Now go, Shinya-san, you don’t want to keep him waiting, do you,” Gackt said to the confused Shinya and gave him a gentle push towards the right direction.
Shinya walked to Die, feeling as if he wasn’t in his own body at all. When the guitarist wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s waist and Shinya noticed that he was once again being led towards the doors the only thing the drummer could think of was that things were definitely moving too fast for him. He didn’t like the feeling of being controlled by the others, first Gackt and now Die, but he didn’t have the strength to resist. He still didn’t understand Gackt’s last words to Die but he had a feeling that something had happened between the two men while he had been away.
Die didn’t lead Shinya back to the table as the drummer had predicted but to the dance floor instead. Confused, Shinya let him arrange them into a dancing position, too amazed to utter a word of resistance when the guitarist drew him so close to his own body that Shinya could barely breathe anymore. His hands were around Die’s neck and Die’s face was so close to his own that he could feel his breath on his lips, but Shinya didn’t even dream of withdrawing from the older man’s hold.
“Die-kun-“
“Sh, don’t speak,” Die whispered against his lips and Shinya shivered. “Just let me hold you like this, onegai.”
And then Die’s lips were on his, and Shinya’s eyes closed on their own account. Those lips were so soft and gentle, and when the older man urged him to open his mouth to him Shinya didn’t hesitate but let himself to surrender to the sweetness of the kiss.
Chapters: 6/7
Author:
melinen aka daishimelGenre: romance, fluff and so on
Disclaimer: Not mine, and never will be
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: DiexShinya, slight KaoruxToshiya (a little GacktxShinya)
Synopsis: Shinya’s mind was in chaos. He didn’t know just what to do as he felt Gackt’s lips move closer to his own, because to be honest he quite wondered how it would be to have the other man kiss him. Would he be gentle or would the kiss be rough? The drummer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he should let Gackt kiss him. At least he would know if he could feel anything towards the man after the kiss, right?
Comments: It took me way too long, but the next chapter is finally ready. ^-^ I had a writer's block but it seems that it's finally leaving me alone, so I'm hoping to be able to finish this soon. The next chapter will be the last real chapter but you'll get chapter 6.5 as well, and possibly an epilogue if you want one.
Slowly Shinya made his way to the door Toshiya was holding open for him. It closed after him with a soft thud, making Shinya turn around abruptly only to stare at it for a fleeting moment before turning back to the bassist who hadn’t noticed anything odd in Shinya’s behaviour but stopped nonetheless, waiting the drummer to get closer to him. They exchanged glances though, and when Shinya did keep the eye contact Toshiya smiled at him, a bit knowingly maybe but it was a rather happy smile nonetheless, one that made the drummer answer to it with a small smile of his own. The bassist seemed content about it, holding out his hand to link it with Shinya’s and they continued making their way back to the hall.
Shinya wasn’t actually sure of what had happened during that little scene in front of the door. Had he unintentionally done something that had revealed to the other man something about him that he did not know himself? Or maybe it was just the way the bassist was, always the one out of the five of them none of the others quite understood, the kind of person who might seem to be the easiest one to get but in reality the one who wasn’t just what his image suggested him to be. Shinya knew that the others didn’t always quite understand him either, but compared to Toshiya he thought of himself to be simpler person than his friend.
Absent-mindedly Shinya followed Toshiya’s lead, listening to the other as he kept on chattering about the party, the music, Kaoru, Gackt, Die… practically about everything, the drummer thought in amusement. He soon let his mind wander, wondering if the others were already waiting for them, or rather if Die and Gackt were waiting for him. Shinya knew that it was very likely. Poor Kaoru, the atmosphere in their table must be rather interesting, so to say. The drummer chuckled at the thought.
“Totchi?” Shinya suddenly opened his mouth, interrupting the bassist.
“Hai?”
“Was Yoshiki-san back already when you left?” the drummer wanted to know.
Toshiya shook his head. “He must’ve met someone on the way back I suppose.”
Shinya nodded. It sounded understandable enough; the older man was after all one of those who arranged the whole party so he’d need to socialize with the other guests as well. Still, he hoped that the older man would return to them soon. The more people the better, especially now with Die and Gackt. The idea of those two men made Shinya frown. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to return to them, but then again where would he go if he decided not to return to them? It wasn’t like he knew so many people around him.
“… in it?” Toshiya’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and Shinya blinked.
“Nani?”
“I asked why you are so interested in it.” The look the other was giving him was enough to make Shinya turn his head from him and refuse to meet his eyes.
“Why are you so interested in knowing that?” Shinya answered with a question of his own.
“Am I?” Toshiya grinned.
“Obviously you are.”
“And you’re clearly not wanting to answer to me,” the bassist nodded. “I see. Though I don’t really need an answer since I know it already.”
“Then why ask, if you do know it?” Shinya enquired, slightly amused. Toshiya had the ability to make that happen, almost as often as Die.
“Thought to be polite, since you’re always complaining about me not being well-mannered.” Toshiya shrugged, still grinning. “But obviously that’s not always necessary. Remember this the next time you’re going to give me a lecture about my behaviour, Shin-kun!”
“I’m pretty sure I can’t forget,” Shinya answered, turning back to face his friend. “Why did you stop, by the way?” he then asked curiously.
Toshiya ignored the question completely and instead brought his hands to Shinya’s shoulders, causing the drummer to blink. “You’re confused.” He stated it as a fact, and Shinya could only blink some more. What did Toshiya mean with it?
“I know that you are, I can see it in your eyes. The reason you were there,” the bassist gestured somewhere behind Shinya’s back with his other hand, “was because you don’t know what to do with the situation you’re in, am I right?” When Shinya still couldn’t find his voice to answer Toshiya sighed and stared deeply in the drummer’s eyes. “I knew I should have started this conversation back there in the ladies’ room,” he mumbled, mostly to himself Shinya was sure, and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I don’t blame you for being confused, if I was in your shoes I’d be too, though I’m sure that Kaoru would have something to say to that…” He laughed a little at Shinya’s expression. “And I don’t think that I’d be that thrilled about having Gackt-san drool over me, I mean he is handsome and a great singer and all, but he’s still older than us and I wouldn’t want to be too close to a man who has been the singer of Malice Mizer even though he does look less… well dark now with the blond hair, it really suits him, don’t you think?”
“Totchi-kun,” Shinya suddenly exclaimed, interrupting the bassist once again. “Your point is?” he asked, unable to decide whether he should laugh at his friend or not. He chose the latter option and quietly studied Toshiya’s face when the other seemed to think about his question.
“My point? My dearest Shinya, my point is that you,” Toshiya poked at Shinya’s nose lightly with his forefinger, “don’t know what you should do with Gackt-san, or with Die for that matter.” He smiled triumphally at the drummer who just stared at him in return.
“… Um,” was all that Shinya could utter. Toshiya was right, they both knew it, but what did he expect him to say?
“And now you’re wondering what is it that I want you to say, ne?” Toshiya laughed. “Sometimes I know you so well it almost scares me,” he giggled. “Though that happens quite rarely I must admit,” he then added and tilted his head to examine the drummer’s face more closely.
For a moment both of them were silent and just looked at each other. Then Toshiya cleared his throat.
“The way I see it you have two options: whether you choose either Die or Gackt-san, or then you don’t do anything and hope that the situation clears by itself. But you have to make a decision eventually, and I’m not really talking about Gackt-san here.”
“But what if I don’t want to make that decision?” Shinya asked quietly. He couldn’t believe it; there he was practically telling his friend his secret, the very secret he had always thought he hid well enough. But obviously a curious Toshiya didn’t have any trouble whatsoever finding about that secret, or maybe he had slipped something before, he didn’t know nor care at the moment. The point was that Toshiya knew it, not how he did it.
“You’ll have to do it whether you want it or not,” the bassist answered. “Or Die will do it for you. Would you really want that?”
Shinya blinked. Would he want it? It would mean that the decision would be made for him and by none other than the redheaded guitarist. But Toshiya was right, a decision needed to be made, no matter whom was the one doing it.
“Shin… You do have feelings for him, ne?” Toshiya’s voice invaded his thoughts, and Shinya startled.
“Anou…”
“Well he has feelings for you, you must have noticed that at least,” the other went on.
“It’s kind of hard not to notice after tonight,” Shinya smiled a little at the thought of Die and his frustrating yet entertaining behaviour from earlier. “But this all might be just a big joke for him,” he continued, his smile fading.
“Trust me, it’s not,” Toshiya assured.
“How do you know?” Shinya enquired, not convinced at all. “Besides, even if he had those feelings we’d still need to think about what’s good for the band, not just what’s good for us.”
“I have my sources. And what do you mean, what’s good for the band?” Toshiya eyed him curiously. “I’m together with our mighty leader-sama, how would your situation be different or not good for the band?” He blinked. “Or are you implying that mine and Kao’s relationship isn’t good for the band?”
Shinya gulped. “Anou… it’s not that, it’s just that… What would happen if the media found out that some of us were in a relationship with a man? Would it affect the band, would it make our fans dislike us or something? I don’t want that, Totchi, I don’t want to lose the band.”
“None of us wants that either,” the other assured. “And I’m sure that when we do tell them about that they’ll understand. It’s not like they find our fanservice that awful or anything, ne.”
“But that’s different and you know it.”
“Is it now? Frankly I don’t think so. But if it happens then let it happen. I’ll refuse to give up love just to please the masses,” the bassist declared, his voice firm and expression clearly telling Shinya that his friend really meant what he said. And maybe that would be the right way to react to the situation if they were to face it in the future.
“Anyhow you’re missing the point here, Shin,” Toshiya changed the subject back to what it had been before Shinya had started talking about the band. “The point is that you two clearly have some things to discuss. Maybe you can do that later in your shared room, ne.” He flashed a smile that made Shinya blush.
“Fine, what ever,” the drummer mumbled.
“So you’ll promise to do it? Great,” Toshiya exclaimed happily and gave Shinya a hug that prevented the drummer from making any kind of noise, which included voicing his refusal or approval – the drummer wasn’t sure which option he would have picked so he just let it go.
“Maybe we should finally go back to the others,” Shinya suggested when his friend had finally removed his arms from around his body, smiling at the bassist who was too smiling rather widely.
“You’re right, Shin-kun, let’s not let Gackt-san and Die-kun wait for you any longer,” he exclaimed and linked his hand back with the drummer’s as they once again made their way to the hall. Shinya had to chuckle at that even though the nervous feeling he had felt around the two men mentioned came back to him as the doors to the hall came in his sight.
“Nervous?” Toshiya asked, sensing his feelings.
“Hai, a bit,” Shinya admitted.
“You’ll do fine; just concentrate on Die and not on Gackt, ne?”
Shinya did not have time to answer to Toshiya when the doors before them suddenly opened and Gackt stepped in front of them.
“Ah, the person I was looking for,” the older man greeted them, his eyes glued to Shinya’s small form that was now trying its best to hide behind Toshiya. “You don’t mind if I steal him from you for a little moment, do you, Toshiya-san?” he continued, still staring at the drummer.
“Anou… If Shinya does not mind…” the bassist started uncertainly only to be interrupted by Gackt who had already offered his arm to Shinya, asking if he could have the pleasure of his company. Shinya blinked, exchanged a glance with his friend and accepted the arm he was offered as he did not know what else he could do.
“Well, remember to bring him back soon, Gackt-san, ne,” Toshiya reminded before shrugging and opening the doors to step into the hall.
Gackt led Shinya to the nearest corner that offered them a bit of privacy. Shinya followed him silently, wondering about what the older man had in mind this time and why he couldn’t say it to him in the table. The drummer hoped he would be able to handle the situation no matter what the other would be saying.
“You’re probably wondering what I’ve brought you here for,” Gackt said as they had reached the corner and were now standing opposite each other.
“Hai, I am,” Shinya admitted, looking straight at the other man’s eyes.
Gackt nodded. “It happens that I do have something to say to you and even though there was the option to say it to you in front of your friends I opted not to choose it. I’m sure you can see why, Shinya-san.”
Shinya knew that the older man was referring to Die. He frowned, nodding.
“So,” Gackt started and took Shinya’s hands on his own, an action that made the drummer’s heart jump to his throat. He swallowed and urged the older man to go on.
“I know that this is happening very fast, but I’m hoping that you’ll still hear me out,” he started and squeezed Shinya’s hands.
“I will,” the drummer said softly. He didn’t want to be rude and refuse to do so, and besides he was starting to get slightly curious. It wasn’t every day when a famous singer wanted to tell you something in private.
“Do you remember what I said to you when we were dancing?” Gackt asked.
Shinya nodded.
“Then you don’t mind if I say this to you I suppose.” Gackt smiled at him, and the drummer held his breath; the older man looked deep inside of his eyes, moved his head closer to Shinya’s and brought his lips to his ear.
“I’d love to kiss you,” he whispered, and Shinya gasped. He didn’t know how to react when he realized that Gackt’s hands weren’t anymore where they had been earlier but the other hand had found its place around his waist and the other was currently stroking the skin of his cheek.
“Anou… I… Die…” Shinya stammered, wide-eyed.
“Die-san isn’t here now is he,” Gackt practically purred and smiled against Shinya’s ear as he felt the younger man tremble in his arms.
Shinya’s mind was in chaos. He didn’t know just what to do as he felt Gackt’s lips move closer to his own, because to be honest he quite wondered how it would be to have the other man kiss him. Would he be gentle or would the kiss be rough? The drummer closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe he should let Gackt kiss him. At least he would know if he could feel anything towards the man after the kiss, right?
“Just one little kiss,” Gackt whispered and then his lips were on Shinya’s. The younger man tensed at the contact but slowly let himself relax again. He kept his eyes closed and let the other’s lips move against his own ones. He didn’t respond to the kiss but he didn’t resist either. He just stood there in Gackt’s arms and let his mind wander. It was a nice kiss, yes, but Shinya found that he didn’t actually feel anything more than the slight nervousness which was normal since the other was Gackt after all. He did think about Die, though, hoping that the guitarist would not make an appearance when he was being kissed by another man.
When the kiss ended and Gackt withdrew his lips from Shinya’s they just stared at each other, neither of them uttering a word. Gackt’s expression was thoughtful but it was Shinya who opened his mouth first.
“It’s not because of you, it’s because of me,” he tried his best to explain.
“I understand,” the older man assured. “But it was still worth a try, ne?” he smiled.
“I suppose it was,” Shinya smiled back.
“Your Die-san is right behind us.”
Gackt’s words caught Shinya by surprise, and his eyes widened. Had Die seen them kissing?
“Yes, he did see us,” the older man said, as if he was answering to Shinya’s unvoiced question. “And I think that you should go to him now,” he continued, gently turning Shinya around so that the drummer could indeed see Die standing within a small distance of them.
“I guess the best man won,” Gackt raised his voice. Die raised his brow at that, an unreadable expression on his face.
“Now go, Shinya-san, you don’t want to keep him waiting, do you,” Gackt said to the confused Shinya and gave him a gentle push towards the right direction.
Shinya walked to Die, feeling as if he wasn’t in his own body at all. When the guitarist wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s waist and Shinya noticed that he was once again being led towards the doors the only thing the drummer could think of was that things were definitely moving too fast for him. He didn’t like the feeling of being controlled by the others, first Gackt and now Die, but he didn’t have the strength to resist. He still didn’t understand Gackt’s last words to Die but he had a feeling that something had happened between the two men while he had been away.
Die didn’t lead Shinya back to the table as the drummer had predicted but to the dance floor instead. Confused, Shinya let him arrange them into a dancing position, too amazed to utter a word of resistance when the guitarist drew him so close to his own body that Shinya could barely breathe anymore. His hands were around Die’s neck and Die’s face was so close to his own that he could feel his breath on his lips, but Shinya didn’t even dream of withdrawing from the older man’s hold.
“Die-kun-“
“Sh, don’t speak,” Die whispered against his lips and Shinya shivered. “Just let me hold you like this, onegai.”
And then Die’s lips were on his, and Shinya’s eyes closed on their own account. Those lips were so soft and gentle, and when the older man urged him to open his mouth to him Shinya didn’t hesitate but let himself to surrender to the sweetness of the kiss.
